What brings me to tears, are still the ordinary magics, tiny moments. Ingrained in my heart. That big Alberta sky, even when you can’t see it. It’s ‘ever changing moods’. The camaraderie of this Windwood family, my own family and their tireless support, welcoming us home after long exhausting impossible days with a table full of steaming hot food. The music, still brings me to tears. The smiles of every individual who might have never made their way to a concert hall. These seeds, necessary to plant, for all beings - at the beginning of life, or end of life, or anywhere in between. The stories that grow. The proof we get to feel in our bones, that through time and perseverance, this musical ecosystem is making some kind of meaning.

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Hello, friends.

Happy New Year.

I hope you have all had some time to rest, to ease back into yourselves, to rediscover the many ordinary extraordinaries that ground you, that bring you peace, joy, warmth. I hope you are still practicing, whatever kindness, patience, forgiveness you most need in this moment. Perhaps, trust. Perhaps, belief. Perhaps, emptiness.

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My first doctoral recital was centered on the words: hope and courage. I think this time around, it’s courage and acceptance.  It’s a personal, vulnerable deep-dive into some of my own darkest moments, and a testament to my growth from acknowledging those pasts.  This concert is about life and death. The dualities. Of suffering and hope. Grief and joy. The extraordinary intensity and dignity of the human pathos, transfused with pain. Courage. And acceptance. The demons that come back. The cyclical nature of pain and grief.”

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Dear my musicians colleagues, thank you for what you do.

Dear all the audiences, whether you came especially to support me or were just passing through and by some miraculous coincidence crossed paths with the music I humbly earnestly adore, revere, serve - thank you for listening. For connecting. For sharing your energy.

It does matter. Little huge moments. Simply bringing music of the highest calibre I can, on this day, to these public spaces. I’m so glad. I feel a part of the beautiful work that all my fellow artists do. To be me, also to be no one. Anonymous. Just music. Just one with the composers who wrote these pieces, and everyone else who has ever played, listened to, loved these notes.

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“A lot has happened.” As they say. I haven’t posted here since January, but I have been writing, everyday. I have been discovering all kinds of astonishing challenges, contradictions, blessings. I have grown. I have stalled. I have fulfilled all kinds of promises. Perhaps broken some, forgotten a few. Still learning. Still laughing-crying-derping. Eating cooking baking delicious things. Making music. Ya know.

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