Journal — Tong Wang

2023。幸福。幸福吗？

幸福。家。人。

It’s not just being 开心, “happy”. It’s not just to have an open heart, to laugh, to give, to have fun. It’s deeper, closer, simpler yet more profound, more peaceful, more grounded, rooted, firmly bound to a sense of trust in this serene, consistent, reliable contentment. This warmth, this endearment, this blessedness. A familial, routine, yet all the while magical longevity of blessedness in the small, simple, daily moments shared with the few people and places dearest to you. Something like home.

Tong WangJanuary 3, 2023Comment

Vision Quest

This has been insane.

Truly.

I can’t quite see what I’m writing but dawn is breaking. It’s true - things are reclaiming their shapes and colours. There is such hope, such victory, such sacred memories. What an experience. My feet are frozen, legs numb. The crescent moon is still bright against a deep blue sky. The familiar warm red light emerging in distance, announcing the imminent return of the fire star.

Around 12 hours of cold and dark. No shelter. No distractions.

Just miracles. Countless doubts and thoughts of giving up. But miraculously in those moments - a fucking shooting star falls gloriously dead center of my vision, full on, full force, burning blazing a trail of hope and courage, a mantra prayer ceremony recited over and over again aloud, “Humility, Gratitude, Courage.” Tracing those three stars, Orion’s belt. The Hunter. Again and again. The stars kept me grounded. “I am a sacred part of the universe.” Again and again. Repeat. Repeat. Making up silly stories. Once Upon a Time. The pink caterpillar. Humming Scriabin. Dozing in and out of dreams, visiting the most unlikely places, peoples, times. Everything. Everything happening and nothing happening under this open air and the infinite eternal stars.

Tong WangNovember 20, 2022Comment

西红柿炒鸡蛋🍅🥚

I have told this story to some before, but it’s important to retell.

reflectionsTong WangNovember 6, 2022Comment

Fin, da capo.

My heart has not been like this in a very long time. It’s not the attachment. It’s not just the exhaustion and rollercoaster of emotions. I am weeping alone, uncontrollably inside the Mazda parked on the curb of the Calgary airport departures zone after dropping off the final (and first) member of this festival because … because I am genuinely so, so grateful. I am so blessed. I feel the most raw, infinite tenderness.

It’s really about the people. For me, it’s all about the relationships, the connections. The sense of belonging. For each individual, each plant, for mom, for the composers, for my own wandering, yearning, romantic heart.

The people make it happen.

There is such kindness, such hope in our world. Such awe, such amazement in finding moments of connection, however brief, however unbelievable.

Tong WangOctober 11, 2022wmfComment

Tbh.

It’s not transactional. This process isn’t transactional. I’m not offering my love and and energy for something in return. Well, perhaps your time and attention. And yes, time is value. But can we move just slightly away from focusing on what we can get out of each investment, each relationship, and simply…be together. Be in an ecosystem of gift giving, generosity, reciprocity not because we feel obligated to, but because we care. We are community.

reflections, musicTong WangSeptember 29, 2022wmfComment